I need you to fix my essay based on these comments.


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You should read the book, and article which are attached below
Professor′s feedback,
1. Maintain focus in the paragraph explaining Biophilia in general and unite that paragraph more clearly on that one thing you are explaining there.
2. Be sure to cover all of the features of the Aesthetic tendency that Kellert explains.
3. The examples from Bryson need to show the Aesthetic value more consistently. How do his ideas about hiking as opposed to relying on cars so much show it? How does the moose encounter show the elements that Kellert explains?
4. Some of the feelings you describe from your own experience, such as a need to protect the environment, do not seem consistent with the Aesthetic tendency but the Moralistic element, so be sure to illustrate examples that you connect to the Aesthetic value.
5. Work on paragraphing–break up the sections on Kellert, Bryson, and your experience into more than one paragraph for ease of reading.
6. Work on the setup and incorporation of quotations.
7. Make the illustrations from Bryson vivid re-creations of his experiences, and make your own illustrations even more vivid.
8. Edit grammar and expression thoroughly after you have revised the content of the essay.
I need you to fix my essay based on these comments.

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